Float Along.

I realize that a fair amount of my posts have been direct and indirect insights of my feelings on growing up and growing old. I don't know why, but growing up is something that I've been completely resistant to.

This isn't how I always was. I used to be excited about growing up. Excited about high school. Excited about college. Even excited about college graduation. Then something changed. Then I got a 'big girl' job. One of those jobs that requires your appearance from 9-5 five days a week. One that gives you 10 days off a year.
Let's just say this: Having a 'career' type of job just absolutely flipped me out.

It truly boggles my mind how much people work. I mean, maybe I needed a reality check way before I graduated college, but I just still can't get over the fact that for my entire life I had roughly 4 months of free time every year, year after year. Then, all of a sudden I have two weeks? Which really isn't even two weeks because I would've had the weekend part of those weeks off anyways? For the rest of my entire life? Why did no one inform me of this before? I mean, it just doesn't seem like there's any light at the end of the tunnel. It's just week after week - nothing to look forward to - but more work. And that is seriously one of the scariest things in life that I'm still trying to come to terms with.

I just really feel deep down in my soul that there is so much more to life than work. Yes, I get it. I don't need a lecture that I've already gotten on numerous occasions. You need to work in order to live. (Theoretically.) I mean, I've seen lots of people that are alive and don't work. Just walk outside Union Station and you'll run into at least 4 or 5. But yes, I get the point.

But this is the deal. This is my feeling on 'real' work:
You have your whole life to work. And you'll probably spend your whole life at work. Whether you start at 22 or you start at 27, I guarantee you'll be working for the majority of the rest of your life. So why not take these few extra years in between when you leave college and when you start a real career to explore. Explore who you are, and explore the world. Just float along, and see where it takes you. It's a time in your life when floating is okay. Because when you're 40, have your own family and are dedicated to your dead end job, it's pretty much impossible to just one day get up and exit the building. That's why it's best to avoid entering the building at all, until what's outside the building has already been discovered.

3 Simple Rules of the Golden Rule.

I'm going to repeat a phrase that your mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, teachers, roles models and anyone else of influence and respect has told you time and time again.
"Treat others how you would like to be treated."
I'm telling you, that this is the most accurate and wise advice I've ever taken seriously. And in all honesty, yea, it's nice to treat other people humanely, but the real reward is in the benefits that you, yourself will reap.

I have gotten free phone replacements, returns without receipts and tags, $100+ tips, numerous passes on speeding violations, and even out of a DUI (no joke) simply by being real and by being nice.
The first thing to realize is that with the exception of receiving overly-generous tips, all of these situations can cause anxiety-induced aggravation that is felt by the person on the receiving end prior to even having a conversation.
Here are three rules to consider in having the Golden Rule play in your favor:
Rule #1: Be Nice to People in the Service Industry! 
Keep your cool. No matter what. Nobody these days can live without their cell phone, so when it breaks, and you've been cut off from the world for 27 minutes by the time you can finally get to Apple, you're probably a little bit irritable. That's why you have to pull a 180 and act exactly opposite to the rest of the customers that are bitching about how they don't understand why their piece-of-shit phone isn't working after it fell in the toilet earlier that morning. It's the unexpected calm person who doesn't place blame for things that poor sales associate had no control over that gets the $149 replacement fee waived. Every time. I'm on number 3.
Rule #2: Cops (and all authoritative figures) are People Too!
You know that first time you went to the bar back at home for Christmas break, and you happened to see your high school English teacher pounding down some beers? Remember how weird that was, and how until then, you always thought your teachers basically lived at the school and had no family, friends or any sort of real life outside of the classroom? Cops seem to have that same semblance. That's why up until I had it figured out a few years back, every time I got pulled over I would get teary eyed, my voice would quiver and my hands would shake. This behavior results in an automatic ticket.
Here's what you have to realize with cops. People hate them. Cops know people hate them. So when they pull someone over they are just waiting for you to rudely roll down your window (yes, you can do that in a rude sort of way) and avoid eye contact as you bitterly hand over your ID. Now, I'm about to reveal the key to getting out of any traffic violation, yes, even a DUI if you are lucky like me (you may want to consider using your good looks with that one, as it needs a bit more persuading than the normal traffic violation). All it takes is a, "Hey Officer, how's it going?" Followed by a sincere smile, and perhaps if you're good at one liners like me, drop a little joke. This should work at least 75% of the time. Guaranteed.
Rule #3: Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover!
The absolute best tips I've ever received have come from foreigners and minorities. For those of you not in the service industry, these are notoriously the worst tippers of all time, and the most avoided tables by servers. You want to know why they are bad tippers? Because people in the service industry already have it programmed in their head that they are going to get a shitty tip when they walk up to a table of Asians, so they just don't even try. This is why I do the opposite. I go above and beyond for these people. Because I know, that probably the last ten times they went out to eat they got crappy service because of the stigma they carry with them. So when I take good care of them, they really appreciate it. And that appreciation is translated into at least 40% tips.
I will say, that this stigma of being stingy that minorities and foreigners have acquired did not come out of thin air, as I  have definitely had my fair share of bad tips, but really, for every one bad minority tipper, there's ten good ones - if you play your cards right.

So there you go. Drink a cup of compassion for breakfast and see how far it gets you. We're all human, we all make mistakes, so the key really is acknowledging this as a simple fact of life, and translating it into kindness to all.

A Glance at the Future.

Last night while working, an older Indian gentlemen asked if he could read my palm. Granted, he was three deep in Grey Goose martinis, but his fellow barflies assured me that this was not a pick-me-up, but that he did in fact, actually read palms.

I've always been somewhat weary of fortune telling and things of that nature, not because I don't believe in it, but because I fear knowing things I shouldn't, or don't want to know. If I'm going to die next week, I'd rather just stay oblivious to it. 

To my amazement, my palm reading guru really captured some key parts of my character, as he told me that I should not fear a relationship with food, I shouldn't be as concerned with money as I am, and that even though my love life isn't that spectacular now that in my future I will have a "great love."

Anyone who knows me knows that these three things are actually somewhat huge contentions in my life:

• I am constantly on a diet that leads to no where, and even though food could quite possibly be one of my favorite things on the face of the earth, I always feel some sort of remorse when I eat something I really enjoy. Being thin is important to me, but food is just oh, so good.
• I've never really been shy in admitting that money is something that I consider to be necessary in the equation that leads to happiness. I'm not saying I need the biggest house on the block or the nicest car in the drive way, but no debt and an abundance of world travels is part of the (missing) puzzle piece to my 'perfect' life. 
• And my love life? Well, that's not really appropriate blog talk. But let's just say the gypsy hit the nail right on the head as far as my current love life goes.

Now, I could go on and on about all the things my psyche contemplated upon having my palm read for the first time by a drunken bar patron, but I'll just get straight to the point and throw out a couple questions that I've posed to myself...

Doesn't every girl in her early 20's have issues with dieting, money, and men? 

And even though he was pretty spot on with aspects of my character, should I take his readings into the future seriously?

My readings into the future did not reveal anything that was really intense or life changing - as he only informed me that I would have two children and live until I was almost 80. But I guess what I've discovered, or rediscovered, is that for me, the most enjoyable part of life is the mystery that's involved, and the curiosity of what the future holds. I may die in 65 years and somewhere in between here and there meet Mr. Right and have two kids, but the part I'm most excited about is the unknown that lies along the rest of that road.

I'm Not a Bitch, I Swear.

In general, I like to think of myself as a loving, caring, sincere, and (most importantly to my point) an accepting and non-judgmental person. But... in reality, I just can't hide my inner mean teenage girl sometimes.

Case and point: New Years' Eve 2011. Party at my friend's house.
My friend had just started dating this girl who lived in Iowa. He went up to no man's land to be with her for the New Year festivities (what a great guy). We called him at 12:02, 2012 to say happy New Year; to which as I suspected, he sounded rather down and out - wouldn't you if your core group of friends all called you smashed and slap happy and you were all alone with your significant other in the middle of cornfield Iowa? Understandable.
Anyways, we asked him what he and the lady friend were up to.
"We're drinking wine and eating cheese."
Okay... Now I can groove with some wine and cheese. That is actually totally my cup of tea... but on New Year's? Not so sure.
Best part of the conversation:
"What kind of cheese?!" Prompted by my annihilated BFF,
"American cheese."

Am I the only one who thinks that that is absolutely hysterical? American cheese and wine. All I could picture was slices of rubbery Kraft American cheese wrapped in that peel-n-eat saran-wrap cover.

Now I'm not claiming to be some ritzy wine connoisseur, but this is some wine and cheese!

Working For What You Love.

It's crazy to me that the older you get, the less time you have for the things that you love. When did the things that we all dread doing take over the things that we adore in life?
I feel like I'm at that cusp in existence where bills are about to be my Saturday afternoon, and work is going to extend past 40 hours a week. Call me pessimistic... but that just plain sucks.
The older you get, the less friends you have time for. Hell, I think I'm down from 20 to 3... maybe 4 (seriously).
The older you get the less hobbies you have. You always hear middle aged people say things like, "When I was your age I was ______ (insert fun and spontaneous activity here)!"
The older you get the less you want to party. Even now, I look back to when I was between 18-22 and wonder how the hell I partied as hard as I did - a standard week now is one night of drinking, 5 days of hangover, and one day of normalcy.
The older you get the faster time passes. There's another thing middle-aged people always say: "I feel like that was just yesterday..." This is probably why old people are always doing bills - last month seems like last night.

Okay, I'm done being negative, because there is in fact a positive point to all of this. The point is that I've decided to start taking my hobbies more seriously, because I  feel like the things I love to do have in recent months fallen by the wayside. Hence why I am blogging again. I love to write, so this blog is a way to stay motivated to keep doing what I love.
Again I  point to irony: Isn't a hobby something that should be enjoyed? It seems for me to be a lot of work to keep a hobby... but that is okay.

Daily Life of the Damned.

I seem to be confronted with at least one of the 7 deadly sins on a daily basis. Wait a sec... who am I kidding? More like an hourly basis. Doesn't everyone? Anyone who denies this is living in La La Land (and is committing  one of the 7 deadly sins - i.e. Pride). Gotcha.

Let me give an example of how easy is to intellectually and physically commit all of the 7 deadly sins in a matter of minutes:
I meet my friend for dinner at a local sushi bar. It's a friend I don't even like, but she owes me money so I  may as well go. Greed. Starved from a rough days' work, I gorge into an enormous plate of deliciously fattening roles - you know, the ones with tempura and cream cheese (the Americanized roles). Glutton. I then transcend into a food coma where I contemplate how wrong that was to overindulge, when I peer across the table to see my stick thin 'friend' eating edamame. Envy. The more I think the more irritable I become. Anger. But I keep eating my deep fried shrimp anyways because even though I'm eating her under the table I'll run circles around her at the gym tomorrow. Pride. I mean, I wouldn't get this upset if it weren't for the fact that I'm approaching my mid-twenties and I'm on the prowl for some sexy man to call mine, and no sexy many wants cellulite and flabby arms! Lust. But we can worry about that tomorrow - it's 9 o'clock by the time I leave; Dateline and my couch are calling my name. Sloth.

When I write it out it truly does sound a little horrible, actually. But let's be real. I can't deny that I've pulled some sort of chain of events like this more than once in my life... okay fine, more than once this week.

It's a wonder that I've yet to be damned.

Beginner's Guide to Becoming a NCC.

For as long as I've been self-aware, I've fought to avoid conformity to the rest of American society. And through this philosophy of life that stemmed as a preteen I've also come to realize that to the contrary of attempting to avoid conformity, I have in fact, conformed.

It's like that old adage says: "You may think you're all different, but really you're all the same."

And so, even though I've conformed, my fellow non-conforming-conformists can contest that life as a non-conforming-conformist is much more amusing and spontaneous - and probably not for the faint of heart - as we do not find it obligatory to follow norms of the American young adult's lifestyle.

Here is a list of ways to become a non-conforming-conformist (some of which I have personally tested, others that I still need to conquer):
1. Attend a major 4 year University whether you know what you want to do or not. Face it, the important part of college is realizing that you can get belligerently sloshed 5 days a week and still manage to earn a degree. Remember: C's get degrees.
2. Don't let people tell you that you have to graduate college in 4 years. Why would you ever want to do such a thing? *cue life quote* "I wish I  knew then what I know now." It is paramount to realize that college is the absolute last chance you have to be a slutty drunk, have no bills, no worries, and no responsibilities.
3. Once you've drawn out college long enough, at least graduate. But don't feel that you are required to go find a 9 to 5 career - right away, anyways. It's nice to draw out that lack of wanting responsibility a little bit longer by getting a job as a bartender, or joining Peace Core.
4. Don't be afraid of recreational drugs. Yes, I said it. Why is that so taboo? We're all curious. It's human nature. The key to drugs (and every vice) is moderation, and age appropriation.
5. Use your assets to get what you want. There's nothing wrong with flirting - don't you want out of that speeding ticket or an extra generous tip? Yes.
6. Be yourself. Make no apologies. There is only one you, and as someone once told me, we need everyone to make the world go 'round. So embrace who you are, even if that means that some people won't understand you.
7. Find your own spiritual path. I know, it may sound like I'm getting a little 'one love' on ya, but really. To each their own. Believe in Adam and Eve? That's great. Believe your next life is determined by how you lived this one? That's great, too.
8. No matter what you decide to do with your life, keep focused on your happiness. If you aren't happy, change so you will be. If there is one thing that we all have control over in this life, it is our own happiness.

The Here and the Now.

Is there something wrong with getting old? Why are we so afraid of aging? Even when I was 8 years old I remember having a fear of reaching my 20's - a fear that the fun would be gone. No more playing with barbies, no more jungle gyms, and no more Santa Claus. I always wondered what people in their 20's did for fun...

Now I'm in my 20's. Now fun is a wine-induced heart-to-heart conversation with my girlfriends, shopping for clothes that I may potentially meet my mate in, and the occasional recreational drug binge on the weekends. And now that I'm in my 20's I look back and don't find playing tag as amusing as I once did; yet I fear that my 30's are far too close for comfort, as I once again wonder what 'fun' the next stage of my life will bring...

Will I be enjoying dinner parties with the future neighbors? Skiing with my future 2.5 children and handsome hubby? Reading Home & Garden magazine 30 minutes before my 10 o'clock bedtime?
Oh, how scary the future is...

I guess the point is that living for the moment is absolutely key to enjoying life. Enjoying the moment you are in for what it is worth. For what is fun and admissible in your here and now, may not be in your there and then.

Eat. Drink. And Be Thin.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have tastebuds. Why must food be as delicious as it is? Yeah, I get it. We need food to survive. But in today's day and age American society no longer eats for survival - they (and I) eat as a past time.

So in this, I seem to find an ironic set of circumstances within our culture:
The immense pressure to stay fit and thin countered by the norm of the social world: Eating out. Whether it's a first date, night out with the girls, or a quick lunch during our break, eating out (and in glutton) is just what we do.

I was once told, "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." This is true.
But this is also true:
"Nothing tastes as good as a great plate of cheese and meat, and an amazing bottle of wine on a Friday night."
Ironic?

So here's to my solution: Eat up. Drink up. And after that, get your fat ass up. Cheers!

Living for a Living.

What am I going to be when I grow up? It's the question that I pose to myself on a daily - perhaps hourly - basis. Even after four years of University I still have yet to find the answer.

I want to be a writer. I want to be a crafter. I to be a professor. I want to be a world traveler. I want to be a personal trainer. A nutritionist, also. I want to be an activist. I want to be a student. A sociologist. A chef. A photographer.

Then there's the things that I personally want to be.

I want to be a good friend. I want to be a good girlfriend. (Eventually wife). I want to be a giver. I want to be passionate. I want to be true. I want to be real. I want to be counted on. I want to be happy.

Someone (theoretically) once told me - and everyone else - that if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. That person has never met me. There are so many things that I love, and there is so much that I want to do. In today's society there is such an immense emphasis put on careers and people's choice of - or lack thereof - jobs. Your career path has come to define what kind of person you are and have become.
What is the first question asked upon meeting?: "So what is it that you do for a living?"
Well from now on my response is: "I live for a living."
If they want to know how I make my money, well, then they can proceed to question me further. But really, who feels comfortable discussing money these days?

A New Beginning.

Where do I start? I've tried this whole blogging thing before with a similar approach as far as how I wanted to 'enlighten' people, but found it difficult to remain on track. What I am trying to avoid is making this blog a personal journal - as I may find myself a rather fascinating individual, but then again doesn't everyone find this about themselves?

My goal this time around is to use my daily life experiences and self discoveries, no matter how miniscule they may be, to attempt to decode this insanity of a life we've all been given. As is the entire world, I am no different in that I am extremely sincere and passionate in the process of self-discovery.